


distractions

by jilliancares



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, M/M, Patrolling, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:48:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23676397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jilliancares/pseuds/jilliancares
Summary: Peter's just trying to patrol, but Wade has other ideas.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 33
Kudos: 389





	distractions

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! prompted by the lovely sylveondreams on tumblr <33 i hope you guys enjoy!!

Peter’s just finished webbing two criminals to a lamppost — he even dusts off his hands to prove it — and is slinging himself to the top of the nearest building when his spidey-sense blares in the back of his head with a warning that only means _Deadpool_.

It’s different than the typical warnings he gets, like the exhilarating buzz at the base of his spine when there’s a gun pointed his way or the tentative tingle when something is just Slightly Off and probably about to escalate into something horrible.

And although Deadpool used to trigger all the normal reactions from his spidey-sense, in time his body developed a warning just for Wade. Because despite the fact that Peter had never seen Wade without at least three guns on him, and despite the fact that Wade is certainly less stable and more dangerous than most, he’s never once tried to hurt Peter. These mixed signals must’ve gotten crossed somewhere in Peter’s brain, because now whenever Peter’s about to be assaulted with the presence of the merc, he doesn’t exactly receive a warning. More like an _announcement_.

So Peter has about two seconds as he’s propelling up the side of the building to think _oh, no_ before he breaches the edge and two familiar hands shoot out over it, grabbing him by the waist and stopping his momentum.

“Wade!” Peter blurts, alarmed despite the fact that he knew Wade would be up here, and Wade wastes no time spinning them around and shoving Peter up against the nearest wall, which happens to be an AC unit. It’s cold against his back.

“I caught a spider!” Wade says. “I spied ‘er first!”

“What?” Peter manages, before Wade’s pressing his body against Peter’s, his hands sliding down Peter’s back to grab his ass. “Wade,” Peter protests, albeit meekly, before Wade grips him under his thighs and pulls him up. Now Peter’s taller than Wade — a rare occasion — and his feet are hooked behind the merc’s back, his hands resting on his shoulders. “I still have patrolling to do.”

“Yeah, me too,” Wade says. “I gotta patrol _that mouth_.”

“That wasn’t even good,” Peter says, and Wade’s fingers come up to edge under the bottom of his mask. Despite his eagerness, he does nothing more, leaving them there, waiting for Peter’s permission.

They’ve been doing this for… a while.

In the beginning, Peter had thought Wade’s flirting didn’t mean anything. That it was just a part of his personality. That he just liked to embarrass Peter, to hear him stutter over his words and watch him swing away indignantly, his face flaming under his mask.

But one night, in a bout of seriousness that Peter never would’ve expected from the older man, Wade sat him down on a rooftop (handing him a burrito, just because) and spilled his heart out. Sure, there were jokes, but Wade was always joking. And these jokes had seemed less spontaneous and off-the-wall than usual. Almost as if he’d scripted out the entire interaction beforehand, and — not being able to help himself — had inserted an appropriate amount of jokes as well.

To be honest, Peter hadn’t even needed the whole spiel. He’d been harboring a crush on Wade himself, one that he’d assumed was wildly inappropriate and not returned in any real capacity.

But since then, they’ve been dating. As in _I am Peter Parker, this is my apartment, please don’t make me regret any of this in the future_ dating. And that was all swell and great and amazing — _except_ for the fact that, despite all logic, now that Wade knew who Peter Parker was, he was even more attracted to Spider-Man. He said it had something to do with how Peter “transformed” into him. How he went from a relatively shy, polite, and non-confrontational individual into a person who never ran out of quips and wasn’t afraid to beat someone up if they were harassing an old lady.

Peter was flattered, honest, but his patrols were suffering for it.

Wade still has his fingers under the edge of Peter’s mask, his fingers curled tightly under Peter’s thigh in anticipation, and Peter _wants_ to say yes. Wade isn’t the only one who gets off on this kind of thing, after all.

But just then, sirens blare past. Or at least, Peter can hear them blaring past, somewhere in the distance. He grabs Wade by the wrist and wriggles out of his grasp, dropping back down onto the roof.

“Sirens,” he says.

Wade groans, slumping against Peter. It’d be a whole lot of muscle mass for one skinny kid to hold up on his own if he weren’t Spider-Man. “There’s _always_ sirens.”

Nonetheless, he doesn’t try to stop Peter. And so Spider-Man takes a running leap off the building, shooting out a web and then another, hanging a tight corner around an office building and swinging half-way across town.

There’s a hold-up in a gas station and Peter makes quick work of it, webbing guns out of hands and shoes to the floor. The police don’t bark at him to get out of the way, a majority of them used to working with and around Spider-Man these days, and Peter gives ‘em a salute before turning down an alley, where he’s pressed face-first against the wall.

“Come here often?”

It’s Wade. Because it’s always Wade.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Peter mutters, but Wade presses his hips into the back of Peter, and he’s hard. His hand slides around the front, lightly squeezing at Peter’s throat before sliding down Peter’s chest, over his stomach, and settling over his cock.

“Oh?” Wade says, squeezing Peter’s arousal, and he flushes, leaning back into Wade. It’s not his fault he’s hard. Who wouldn’t be, when their boyfriend kept jumping them around every corner? Showing up when it shouldn’t even have been possible for them to catch up that quickly?

“Wade,” Peter says, sucking in a breath when Wade’s hand slides back up only to wiggle into his pants. Not many people know Spider-Man’s suit is actually two pieces. “You’ve got to stop teasing me.”

“And I will!” Wade says brightly. “As soon as you let me take you home.”

Peter’s honest to God about to say yes, because Wade is scarily efficient about getting his way, and he always makes it up to Peter when Peter ends up grumpy that he didn’t get to do his full patrol. Peter’s mouth is hanging open under his mask, and he’s slumping more and more into Wade with every stroke of his hand, and the words _let’s go home_ are on the tip of his tongue when his spidey-sense blares.

Not in the _there’s a gun pointing at you_ way or the _something’s about to go horribly wrong_ way but the _hey, idiots, you’re jerking off in an alleyway and someone’s about to see you_ way.

So Peter jumps away from Wade, pulling his pants up, just as two boys come racing into the alley.

“I knew it!” one of them shouts. “I knew I saw Spidey!”

Peter’s blushing, desperately hoping that his cup is securely in place and that he doesn’t look horribly indecent.

“Spidey, hey!” the second boy says, and Peter raises his hand to wave when Wade pulls out a gun and points it at them. The boys — surely in their teens — stop abruptly, one of them gripping the other’s arm.

“Deadpool!” Peter snaps, slapping him on the arm. “Put that down!”

“S-sorry, man,” says one of the boys, taking a tentative step back. “We’ll just — we’ll just go.”

“Yeah, you will,” Deadpool says darkly, and he is Deadpool now, with that tone of voice and that amount of danger radiating off him. Peter can see that the safety on his gun is on. In fact, Peter’s about 99% sure that the gun isn’t even loaded. Still, it’s the principle of the matter. Wade doesn’t need to be scaring a few kids just because they interrupted them doing something where they shouldn’t have been doing it anyway.

“Ignore him,” Peter says loudly. “Can I help you? Is something wrong?”

“No,” one of them says timidly. “We’re just… fans,” he ends lamely.

“No autographs!” Wade barks, and the kids take one look at each other before turning and booking it out of the alley, obviously not willing to take their chances around Deadpool for a moment of conversation with Spider-Man.

Peter turns on Wade. “That really wasn’t necessary,” he says.

“Sure was,” Wade says, nodding intently, and his eyes are wide, innocent.

Peter scoffs, aiming his wrist toward the building, and no sooner has he shot off a web when Wade’s arms are wrapped around his waist, an unwanted passenger to the rooftop.

Peter stumbles on the landing, Wade throwing off his weight, but he doesn’t even get the chance to right himself. Wade just picks him up immediately, only to set him on a radiator and force him onto his back, his legs hanging over the edge.

“You think you’re getting rewarded for that?” Peter demands, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

“No way,” Wade says. “I’m totally in the doghouse. This is me apologizing.”

And with that, he sinks to his knees in front of Peter, hooks his fingers into Peter’s pants, and drags them down.

Despite everything, Peter’s still hard.

He arches upward immediately, unable to help it once Wade’s mouth is on him. His fingers are digging into the metal beneath him and he hears a tell-tale crunch. That’s got to be, like, the seventh rooftop appliance that Peter has damaged in their nightly exploits.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Peter gasps, joking, and Wade hums around him, making Peter clench his eyes shut under his mask. It always kind of sucks, getting off while in the suit. He’s going to have to swing home all sweaty, and he’ll be extra disoriented after this, his arms just a little bit wobbly as he webs home.

And then, once he _does_ get home, Wade’s going to be all over him again. Did Peter mention he also has a thing for watching Spider-Man transform into Peter Parker?

Wade pulls up, his hand taking the place of his mouth, and Peter manages to open his eyes to look down at him. Wade’s mask is pulled up to his nose and he’s grinning at Peter, his lips shiny with saliva.

“You look so good like this, Spidey.”

He always calls him Spidey in the suit. He’s never once slipped up, crushing all of Peter’s worries from the beginning.

“You can’t even see me,” Peter says breathlessly. He can feel the heat of Wade’s breath on his cock, and he’s getting close. Wade is just teasing him now. They both know they’re going to go again when they get home — enhanced human stamina will do that to a guy.

“Please,” Wade scoffs. “You’re way more expressive than you think. You just have to read the body language.”

“Uh huh,” Peter says, only trying to be polite, at this point.

“I mean, your thighs?” Wade says. “They always start trembling like this when you’re close.”

Peter tries to plant his feet on the ground. He’s never noticed that before.

“And you always get extra sticky when you’re about to cum,” Wade says. Peter pulls his hands away from the radiator, and his fingers are sticking to it so hard that the dents he created pop back out when he lifts up.

“And when you’re not holding onto something, you reach for me when you cum. Every time.”

With that, Wade goes back down on him, swallowing Peter all the way to the back, and Peter can feel his throat working around him.

“Wade!” he gasps out, half in warning and half out of pure desire to just have the taste of his name in his mouth as he comes. He arches up just as Wade sucks, _hard_ , and he’s coming, jerking into Wade’s mouth and biting down hard on his lip to keep from shouting.

When he comes to, panting and trembling, blinking slowly, he realizes that he’s holding both of Wade’s hands, their fingers intertwined. He has no recollection of reaching for him, but Wade was right — as always.

He flushes darkly, thankfully hidden from Wade’s eyes, and forces himself to sit up. He gets shakily to his feet, Wade pulling his pants up for him.

And then Wade leans in, pressing his lips to Peter’s ear. “And right now, you’re blushing,” he concludes.

Peter shoves him away with an indignant sound, jumping off the roof and leaving him to find his own way home.

He’s 99% sure Wade’s going to beat him there anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!!! i hope you're all staying safe and healthy and happy!!


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